People you Meet in Shops

White Linen Trouser Lady

Following on from the funny-things-that-happen-at-train-stations post, I need to tell you about White Linen Trouser Lady. I met her not quite at a train station but in a well-known, cheap and cheerful retailer next door to the tube. I’d been hot-footing it to the station but a pair of white linen trousers had grabbed my attention with both hands and forced me into said shop. So that counts, I think?

I’ve pounced on the white linen trousers and am holding them up in front of a mirror, thinking that, holy days, they might even fit. I’m five foot one and three quarters. A sizeable minority of people are five foot one and three quarters with proportions to match, I’ve realised, I’m even friends with some of them; it’s just a shame the clothing industry doesn’t realise this.

Still, hallelujah for charity shops on that front. Don’t ask me why!

Along comes an even smaller than five foot one and three quarters, bubbly little lady, eyeing up the white linen trousers and she is as excited as I am. I express my fears to her that whilst there’s a surprisingly good chance they’ll fit, I’m worried they’ll be see-through.

‘I might get away with big pants,’ I say.

‘Big pants?’ she says. ‘No, you need tights, very hot’ – she has a slight accent I notice,
Italian, Spanish…? – ‘but works. Also hides the cellulite.’

Right, so that’s that sorted. Now I’m back to pondering the size. Suddenly she takes the trousers by the waistband and holds them like a cape around her neck.

‘You need do this,’ she says, ‘my mother taught me.’ She demonstrates: ‘Bring the two edges together and waist will fit. Overlap? Too big. Choking you…?’ You get the drift.

Simple! How did I not know this? Where was my mother when I should have been learning this?

‘That’s amazing,’ I say, ‘life changing.’ The assistant joins in. She’s amused by the exchange and knows the trick, too. Am I the only person who doesn’t know this? All those hours spent in a changing room I’ll never get back! Anyway, the waist band trick suggests they’ll fit, no changing room for me, I’m off to the till and we say a huge farewell. I’m giggling to myself. I love chance encounters and this vivacious lady and the random nature of the conversation really made me smile. I’ve learnt something, too.

I turn on my heel. And dart back to white linen trouser lady. I explain that I have this newsletter all about nice things that I learn about, or randomly happen, basically things that can make your day in a big or a small way.

‘I’d like to write about this.’

‘Yes, yes!’ She says. I love her energy. She is beaming. I ask if I can take her picture.

I want to let her know where she can read the post but obviously I have no business cards on me – I like to keep the 400 or so I have in a box in a drawer at home – so she tells me not to worry. The thing is, she’s a singer. So she has business cards, indeed, she has them with her. I peruse the card. She’s a Lead Singer, I note. She’s playing in London again soon.

Nice.

I tell her that unfortunately I won’t be in London for a while.

‘Paris?’ She says, ‘We’re also playing in Paris.’

Gosh. How good is this lady?

Now, I’m not saying she has the following of Claudia Winkleman [Inadvertently Involved in Something Big] or perhaps she does in the Cuban/jazzy world – do you know her? - but phewey, her voice is really infectious and you can’t help but smile when you listen to the band: Cholao Cumbia.

More than that, we had such a giggle together over pretty much nothing, and those moments are precious, aren’t they? I was laughing all the way to the tube. White linen trousers will forever make me think about Tata.

I didn’t stay long enough to ask if she bought the white linen trousers. I’ve messaged and will report back (!) Maybe I’ll see her in concert one day. Maybe she’ll be wearing the white linen trousers and maybe I’ll be the only person who knows she is wearing tights underneath.

Tell me, tell me! What about your chance meetings? I know there are some brilliant ones out there!

Footnote: the white linen trousers were returned, but they did fit me around the waist (of course! I’d done the wrap-around-your-neck trick ). In the spirit of honesty, I can also confirm that when the perennial search for white linen trousers is eventually successful, I will be wearing them with big pants, not tights. The concept of tights under trousers makes me feel a little queasy. Maybe my mum is responsible for that one 😉